Although it's the season to be jolly and all that, I thought I would share with you a story of my worst Christmas. I'd love to hear some of your anecdotes on the same subject.
My parents divorced when I was about five years old and both remarried so my brother and I had two sets of parents. Unfortunately none of them wanted to be called 'Mum or Dad'. We had to call them by their first names which was very unusual in those days.
One Christmas when my brother and I were in our early teens they decided we would all spend Christmas together – yes that's right – both sets of parents and my brother and I under the same roof. My mother and stepfather (with whom we lived) provided a turkey, cake and mince pies whilst my step mother and father were supposed to provide the alcohol and everything else.
You can imagine the atmosphere – my brother retreated to his bedroom and left me to be piggy in the middle and keep the peace. Christmas lunch we got one slice of turkey and no gravy - my step mother and father didn't like gravy so we had to do without as well. We never saw the pudding, mince pies or cake.
After that the turkey and trimmings vanished and I remember we had to find our way to Chelsea (we were in Kilburn) where my step uncle and his wife were staying with his in-laws in order to get something to eat.
Can anyone top that?